How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
