You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
