Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
