I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize