Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
