She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
