i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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