girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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