no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
