I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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