First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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