No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
