just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
