I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
