It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
