I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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