Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
