Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
