how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
