If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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