I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
