I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
