you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
