I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
How's work?
Spinning.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
