i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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