Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize