I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
