Don't you send me to vm
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
