yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This is not my ceiling
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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