i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize