She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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