I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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