I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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