if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize