did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
