My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
