i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So much rum. So many feels.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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