I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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