it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
