i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
