i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize