Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The best revenge is premature balding
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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