Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
