you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
