i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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