On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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