Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
