I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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