People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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