chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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