it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
