I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
