why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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