i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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