ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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