why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I want to fling myself into the sun
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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