Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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