now i know why i became what i already was.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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