I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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