there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
