Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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