we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
