hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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