I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Randomize
