No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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