i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".