i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He better not be in your backpack
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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