They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.