I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm