Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
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There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
