Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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