so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
